10. Accept help from others

In order to get better at accepting help, we have to stop seeing it as selfish, but rather as a healthy way to respond to others and enrich our relationships. The more we can accept, the more we have to offer. When we deny ourselves, we deny the people close to us. Generosity is a two-way street from which everyone benefits. As Brené Brown once put it, “Until we can receive with an open heart, we’re never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgment to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgment to giving help.” The art of giving is crucial to our happiness, but our generosity doesn’t end with giving; it also means challenging ourselves to be gracious in what we accept.

When we allow people to be kind to us, we feel closer to them, and they feel closer to us. We let them express their feeling for us, rather than shutting them out. This deepens our connection to that person and creates a stronger mutual support system, in which the give and take can feel natural and equal. Despite any initial discomfort around letting people help us, it can feel rewarding. The vulnerability of being open to accepting help and generosity tends to bring out a caring response in others and often leads to deeper emotional closeness.